Peace

It’s hard. I know it is. You must know it is. Making peace with yourself.

I think it has to start there, with yourself, before you can pass it on.

I used to be so anxious, so upset, so unsure. So, so tired.

Like no matter what choice I made it was the wrong one and everyone who looked at me was judging me. I wanted to crawl into myself, stay in my bed for all eternity.

Constantly wondering: how do I change this? How do I change the world? What’s the point? I might as well break. People won’t care. I won’t care.

All that is wrong in the world, all that is unjust and all that makes people fake – the solution isn’t to add to the destruction. The solution is to grow, to change, to care deeply about others but not about what they think of you.

To dare to make mistakes, and to try again.

I’ve been told that you have to start somewhere to be okay again. Just get up. Take a step.

I didn’t just need to take a step to change. I had to fall; arms stretched out, giving myself up to the world. Not caring. I’m not going to care what you think.

I went, all by myself, across an ocean. To live elsewhere for a year. Get away from expectations. Remake myself. Fall.

In the end, no one can help before you’re willing to help yourself.

I’m not done yet, but I’m on my way.

I am making peace with myself